Trouble Begins with an H
by Senorita Sassybuns
Summary: Lily leaves for a party one night leaving James and Sirius to watch Harry. When a bowl of blackberry puree fall into the wrong hands, the marauders must frantically clean up the mess before Lily's return. R&R!


James lay stretched across his bed. His eyes were closed but he was levitating a toy snitch before his son, Harry, who was trying to catch the stuffed quidditch ball. A small smile played in his lips as he heard his son giggle over the thrill of the chase.

Eventually, Harry grew tired of trying to catch something that seemed to escape his grasp just before his tiny fingers could grasp it. He still wanted the toy, but needed a new way of obtaining it. So, naturally, he started crying loudly, thus causing James to sit up.

"What?"

"Give him the snitch, James!" Lily called from the bathroom. James shot a look in her direction, but dropped the toy at Harry's feet. Like a switch, as soon as the toy was in his grasp, Harry stopped crying instantly, glad to get what he wanted.

"I see how it is," James snapped, but couldn't hold a straight face. His son was growing up to be a prankster like his father. Even though he was almost a year old, James could tell he would be receiving dozens of letter from Hogwarts regarding brilliant acts of mischief his son managed to conduct himself in.

"Well, I'm leaving now," Lily said, emerging from the bathroom, wearing a simple black skirt with a green blouse that made her eyes shine like dew tasting the first rays of sunlight in the morning. She was going to a small wine tasting party for a cousin who was getting married the following day. She and James decided it would be safe for Harry to stay home with James. It would be too easy for Voldemort to swoop in unexpected at an innocent wedding and try to kill him and wineries weren't baby friendly.

Sirius offered to watch Harry for James and Lily, but Lily explained that her cousin had no idea about her being married, let alone have a son. It would create an awkward situation amongst her family, something she wanted to avoid especially since Petunia was going to be there.

"You look nice," James commented.

"Just nice? You usually have something more..._flamboyant_ than just 'nice'," Lilly raised her eyebrow at him.

"Gotta keep things G, Lils," he explained. "You know, for the kids." He and Lily both stole a look at Harry, who met his parents eyes in the middle of his gnawing at the wing of the snitch.

Lily smiled and scooped the baby into her arms, showering his face in kisses. "You be good now," she said as she placed Harry back on the bed.

"He's an eight month old baby, what could he possibly do?"

"I was talking to you."

"Oh," James ran a hand through his untidy hair. "It's just the three of us. Not much can happen. I mean, I will make dinner and play chess, maybe watch some . By that point in time, you will be back from your little soiree."

Lily stooped down and planted a kiss on James' lips., "Make sure you watch Harry."

"He will never leave my sight," James swore.

"Good." Lily walked through the house to the front door where she found Sirius on the other side, about to knock. With a brief greeting, she disapparated with a pop.

"So, what are we going to do for three hours?" Sirius asked casually, sitting himself down at the kitchen table, butterbeer in hand.

"Making dinner," James replied, poking through the fridge. He pulled out a some vegetables and a butcher paper wrapped package of meat.

"Oh really?" Sirius said with a playful tone in his voice. He leaned over an winked at Harry. Harry responded by poking him in the face with a drooly snitch. Sirius wiped his face clean with his wand, feeling waves of disgust course through his body.

"You make that sound like it's nothing I've ever done before," James said plainly, pretending not noticing the look of disgust on his friend's face.

"Need I remind you of the time you tried to make spaghetti and meatballs without the meatballs?"

"That was...six months ago!"

"Yeah, six _months_ ago. You really expect to cook some, what looks to be, a meat product?"

James straightened himself out and puffed out his chest, "why Padfoot, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that is a challenge."

"Maybe it is," Sirius took a box of Cheerio's and poured some on the little table of Harry's high chair. The boy tossed the snitch into Sirius' lap and began to place tiny o's into his mouth.

"You know what? Scratch that, I am challenging you," Sirius said. He stared at the toy wondering what was running through his godson's head when he tossed the toy into his lap.

"Fine." James declared, "I will make the best dinner you have ever tasted!" He pulled up his sleeves and whipped out his wand, preparing for some serious wrist action.

"Whoa, what are you doing?" Sirius cried out.

"What? I'm making dinner using magic?"

"Yes?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because, Prongs, _I _could make myself a prime rib dinner with mashed potatoes and roasted veggies with bread pudding for dessert with magic," Sirius scoffed. "Of you want to really impress me, make a damn good dinner _without_ a wand.:

"You mean, like a... a. muggle?" James had a look of horror on his face. He had nothing against muggles, he just found their methods of doing things over complicated.

"Yep, the good ole fashion muggle way," Sirius confirmed. "Unless you find that to be too much for you."

"No. I can do this," James said. With that in mind, he set to work. Chopping, stirring, adding salt and peper to taste, he became a regular Wolfgang Puck. He was going to win...something from Sirius for winning this competition!

James was checking on the meat he had frying in the pan when his elbow knocked over the bowl of pureed blackberries he was saving for the angel food cake he had in the oven. The bowl clattered to the ground.

Before James could turn away from the stove to pick the bowl up, Harry, who had been playing with dog-form Sirius, toddled over and retrieved it, splattering blackberry goo all over himself.

"Harry, give daddy the bowl," James bent down to try and pick his son up, but Harry thought that he was playing a game and took off running with the bowl in his hands still. James watched in horror as blackberries made their way onto a freshly shampooed carpet.

"Sirius!" James snapped. Sirius broke free from his laughing fit long enough to hear his command, "go get Harry."

Sirius stood up and walked calmly down the hall where the little boy waited for himself to be chased.

"Give ole Padfoot the bowl," Sirius cooed, taking slow steps, hoping Harry wouldn't run off again. He did. Right into James and Lily's closet. Sirius trampled after the boy, wondering how a baby can out run a grown man.

"Harry," he called, stopping down on all fours poking through the coats and shoes. He noticed a purple-ish trail in the carpet and followed it to an elegant pale pink dress. Sirius assumed that it was what Lily was going to wear to her cousin's wedding and it was stained with blackberry goo. Sirius made a quick lunge, feeling his arms close around a his squirming godson. Tossing the dress aside, he carried Harry and the bowl of blackberry puree to the kitchen.

"Look at you!" James exclaimed when he saw Harry. He took the Harry from Sirius, removed his pajamas and plopped him into the sink that was filled with suddy water.

"Yeah, uh, James, we have a bigger problem," Sirius started timidly.

"What is it?"

Well...," Sirius trailed off, thinking better to show him the damage done to the dress. James turned from his station at the sink. His jaw dropped.

"Can you take that out magically?"

Sirius shrugged, "I haven't tried yet." He pulled out his wand and gave it a little wave. He expected the stain to instantly vanish, but the purple spatters were still present. "No, magic ain't gonna fix this one. "

"Impossible!"

"Apparently not," Sirius said. He tossed the dress on the kitchen table and collapsed in the chair, sipping his butterbeer again. James finished washing off Harry and put him in fresh clothes. As he went to put Harry in his play pen, he froze, eyes transfixed on the dress.

"Sirius?"

"What?"

"Is that Lily's dress on the table?"

"Yeah, why? You make it sound like you've never seen it before.

James pursed his lips together, set Harry down and lifted the dress, unveiling the fresh stain caused by chocolate covered angel food cake that James had just pulled off the cooling rack.

"Briliant," Sirius grimaced. "Is there some kind of muggle thing Lily has lying around the house that can get those stains out?"

"There is some thing in the drawer that's for emergencies," James commented. Sirius went to the drawer James indicated to and pulled out a small box labeled 'for emergencies' in Lily's handwriting.

"Hey there's this guy we can call. Seems promising. I think he's a muggle."

"What's his name?" James inquired, picking up the telephone.

"Glen Lerner, the heavy hitter. So, does he hit stains out?"

"Um, Sirius, that's a lawyer."

"Oh," Sirius grew a slight shade of crimson with embarrassment. "Well, how about this guy. His name is J G Wentworth."

"Hey, that sounds promising," James' face it up at the sound of a possible solution.

"Yeah, if you need money," Sirius laughed.

"Hey, why don't you be a real help before I blame all of this on you and let _you _deal with Lily's anger alone."

A look of horror came across Sirius' face and he put the stack of cards back in the drawer and frantically looked through the kitchen for some stain removal potion. He found none.

"Does Lily have something in the laundry room that could help?"

"I don't know," James admitted. "Let's see." They walked into the laundry room and poked around the cabinets. Harry giggled from outside the room, having returned back to gnawing on his snitch.

"Harry, you apparated out of the pen again didn't you," James turned and look down at his son. He was sitting on the floor staring at the two men. "This is your fault you know."

"What's OxyClean?" Sirius asked, tearing James away once more from his mischievous son.

"What?"

"OxyClean."

"I don't know," James paused, "what does it say on the package.

"Gets stains out the first time."

"The answer to our problems!"

Sirius and James rushed back to the kitchen to fix the dress, Harry being charmed to float along behind them. Harry seemed to be enjoying this very much for he was somersaulting, giggling his head off.

The two men quickly read the directions and soaked the dress in warm water with three scoops of the OxyClean powder. Upon inspecting the dress when they pulled it out of the solution, James and Sirius were amazed to see the stain had actually vanished.

"It's magic! Made by muggles," Sirius gasped.

"You can say that again," James muttered, air drying the dress with his wand. He put the dress on the hanger and hung it back in the closet, looking like nothing ever happened to it.

When Lily came home, she was hit with the smell of a delicious dinner. She walked into the kitchen and saw the table set, food waiting to be eaten, and Harry sitting in his high chair, gnawing on a plastic key ring while scooping up mashed potatoes and plopping then on the little table in front of him.

"Hey, Lils, how was the wine tasting?" James asked, setting a two glasses of lemonade in front of his and her plate.

"It was nice, but I don't think I will go wine tasting for awhile."

"Why not?"

"I think that maybe you and I should go sometime, after Voldemort leaves Harry alone," Lily said. She sat down, realizing how hungry she was, and dove into the meal her husband had made. She was finishing her slice of cake when she heard Harry banging on a tub of OxyClean.

"Harry, where did you get that?" She asked him. Harry giggled and pointed at James.

"James, where did Harry get that?"

James froze. Thinking fast, he grabbed a Twix bar from the cabinet and shoved half the bar in his mouth, mumbled something Lily couldn't make out and shrugged his shoulders.

**AN: just a light story that popped into my head. Dedicated to VivaJuanita and the blue eyed white dragon. Please review!**


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